What To Expect When You Are Expecting Your Fourth... Because This Stuff Just Aint In The Book

May not be suitable for men or children... some content may be considered gross or offensive. I am a little bit sorry. But mostly I don't care. I am pregnant and tired and so quite frankly my new motto is... I Just Don't Care!

When pregnant with her fourth you can expect the once modest young lady to, in the middle of a crowded restaurant, reach down and unbutton her "fat jeans" (even though she is only at 6 weeks gestation). You can also expect for the gentleman who is sitting a few tables over... who obviously has never spent time in the presence of a pregnant woman before... to have the nerve to look at now relieved and comfortable pregnant lady in bewilderment. The pregnant woman, however, can expect to wipe that shocked look off of the poor man's face with a look of her own. Perhaps one that says, "I'm fat, I am actually keeping this meal down for once and am therefore now bloated... do you want a piece of me?"

I at least had some luck with that approach.

It has been a while since I read the book, but to my best recollection I do not remember the part where it tells you to expect a new part of your body to completely rebel and shut down every single day. So far I have had problems with my upper back, my left big toe, migraines, something about scar tissue (if you've had multiple c-sections) getting mangled up in the dermis (the layer of connective tissue below the epidermis) Yep, didn't make sense to me either, but it causes abdominal pain like you wouldn't believe. And last night I actually thought my right boob was going to explode. No I didn't just expect it to I think I even remember at one point begging God to make it happen in hopes it would give some relief.

Here is the best and perhaps strangest thing you can look forward to when you are expecting your fourth child. In the midst of a playful wrestling match turned violent between your sons, and what I swear can only be Pre-premenstrual syndrome from your 4-year-old daughter. With yelling, tears and emotional breakdowns happening throughout the entire home... you can expect to look around and think, "Man I can't wait to have another."